Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
