they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
