If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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