You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
