i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
