How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
