Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm always down for nudity.
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