I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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