I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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