I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize