he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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