God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
