i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
