Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
