do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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