I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
