think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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