i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
