is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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