god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
