please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
