jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
