Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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