she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
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So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
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The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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