I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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