the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
