just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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