I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
you never un-have a 4some
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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