I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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