What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
