i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
