Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
