if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize