He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
