We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
