If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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