in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
