is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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