smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
