If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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