You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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