I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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