someone threw a dead crab at me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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