If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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