Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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