I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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