i will never coherently bang her
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I love you. Go after that dick
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
