plz talk dirty to me
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
