im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
