Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
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at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
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Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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