Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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