is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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