Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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