Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
