I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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