I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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