a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
