i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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