I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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