woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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