Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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