i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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