remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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