sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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