whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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