They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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