fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
His nipple licking is glorious
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